What does motherhood mean and represent? How does it feel to the mother? How did motherhood become a part of a normalized sequence of a woman’s life? How did mothering or childcare transition from an entire family’s or even a village’s responsibility to that of the mother alone? What is the effect of this on the mother – physically, emotionally, and socially?
In this limited research I did as a part of MA Psychology coursework, I aimed to explore and deepen the understanding on these aspects. I knew of motherhood to be considered a crucial, an almost-mandatory, milestone in a woman’s life and is imagined to be a blissful occurrence. I expected this idea to be closely linked to the experience of postnatal distress in mothers.
Motherhood is not a unitary experience. Women may feel a lifelong drive to become a mother and nurture or be pressured into conceiving the next generation. They may experience the most delightful love in motherhood while also finding it the toughest thing they have ever done.
One thing is for sure- their lives are never the same.
On account of being a happy event, many difficult emotions associated with motherhood may not get the space to be shared with others or acknowledged within oneself. Women may experience varying degrees of distress but may not approach a professional or seek help. Consequently, the objective of this research was to give space to the complex experience of motherhood for seven women, with their unique subjectivities, positionalities, challenges, and victories, while uncovering the intricate power dynamics at play in the discourses surrounding motherhood.
The following text includes sections looking at the literature on the function of motherhood, and the perspectives on the perpetuation of this role through centuries, contrasting the role of fathers, the motives for women to become mothers, followed by perspectives on postnatal depression. Through in-depth phenomenological interviews with seven mothers, I bring forward their complex and diverse experiences.
This research is dedicated to mothers, for the sheer force of nature and
embodiment of willpower that they are.
Or have to be...
“Being a mother is not only bearing a child – it is being a person that socialises and nurtures.”
- Chodorow (1978)
Women as ‘natural’ mothers
Becoming a mother, understanding the role and performing it flawlessly is supposed to be inherent in women. Not only is this ingrained role expected to define women’s femininities and identity, it is perceived less as a role and more of a stage and lifelong purpose. There is an almost a universal expectation that women will become mothers and be thrilled in the experience. It seems ‘mother’ is less of a person and more of a function. How did women come to perform this default caregiving, nurturing or ‘mothering’ function and how does it continue to be perpetuated?
Bio-evolutionary perspective: Women can bear children and lactate (obviously!)
The majority of anthropological studies perceive the role of women in motherhood as pivotal in shaping the structure of family and gender roles, often accepting it without further examination. They typically assume that motherhood is inherently natural, functional, and influenced by social, biological, and psychological factors (Chodorow, 1978). Women's role in mothering within the context of social structure is often seen as inseparable from the physical reality of childbirth and breastfeeding. According to the bio-evolutionary perspective, women have always been the primary caregivers due to the essential nature of the sexual division of labour in early human communities, which contributed to the survival of the species. These explanations posit that men's physical attributes, such as agility, strength, speed, and aggression naturally inclined them towards hunting, while women engaged in gathering and child-rearing activities. Alternatively, these perspectives highlight the demands of pregnancy and childcare as justifications for this division of labour. They argue that lactating women need to be in close proximity to their nursing infants for extended periods, and that the physiological processes of pregnancy and lactation rendered hunting inefficient and risky for women, children, and the larger group. It was common to have women bear and raise children for most of their fertile life. Thus, the division of labour came to be as we know it. These perspectives think of the social organization of gender as a natural evolutionary optimisation.
Maternal Instinct: Women have the drive to conceive and nurture
According to Apter (1993), there exists a widely held belief that women possess an inherent maternal instinct, leading to the expectation that they should naturally engage in mothering. This perspective suggests that motherhood is regarded as a normative and instinctual behavior for women (Ganjoo, 2021). This myth (Buss, 1994) ideates that all women have a fundamental biological drive or an innate, wired desire to bear children and either have or develop the skills to nurture their children, without any need for training. (Winnicott, 1960) suggests that holding the infant physically in her uterus leads to a mother’s identification with the infant after it is born and, therefore, to "a very powerful sense of what the baby needs" (Chodorow, 1978).
However, Parker (1995) does finds limited historical or psychological evidence supporting the existence of an inherent longing to have or care for children. Nicolson (1998) suggests that this notion of an “instinct” is actually a socially-constructed misconception, and numerous mothers admit to having mixed feelings about their children and their role, as noted by Lewis (1995) and Parker (1995). Elisabeth Badinter (1981) alleges that ‘love’ is different from ‘maternal instinct’. Mother’s love is a feeling and like any feeling, it is “uncertain, fragile, and imperfect”. Thus, there can be variations in a mother’s behaviour, sometimes reflecting interest and devotion for the child and sometimes not (Riley, 1983).
Social Conditioning: Women are raised to mother
Nancy Chodorow (1978) proposes that the perpetuation of mothering within the framework of patriarchy can be viewed as both inherent and unavoidable for women. The act of women engaging in mothering is influenced not only by biological factors but also by historical circumstances and the development of childcare practices, as well as division of labour. The prevailing societal structures, where women, mothers, and men participate in work outside the home, are accompanied by corresponding psychological abilities that underpin these roles; and these capacities are transmitted at conscious and unconscious levels. Women, in their role as mothers, give rise to daughters who possess nurturing abilities and a predisposition towards mothering. Conversely, boys experience a systematic limitation on their nurturing capacities.
Social psychologists look at feminine role training and role identification and believe that women are trained for nurturance since childhood – they are made to play with dolls, their aggression is not tolerated, and they are restricted to the domestic sphere. They identify with their own mothers as they grow up and learn to cook, clean, maintain relationships, nurture, and sacrifice. Susie Orbach(1982) argues that femininity is not an inherent trait or quality of women but rather a set of expectations and behaviours that are culturally and socially constructed through a range of social institutions, including the family, media, education, and religion. Femininity is characterized by a number of features, including a preoccupation with appearance and body shape, an emphasis on emotional expressiveness and empathy, and a tendency towards subservience and passivity. Motherhood is then built on top of this foundation of femininity.
Social Conditioning: Women are raised to mother
Nancy Chodorow (1978) proposes that the perpetuation of mothering within the framework of patriarchy can be viewed as both inherent and unavoidable for women. The act of women engaging in mothering is influenced not only by biological factors but also by historical circumstances and the development of childcare practices, as well as division of labour. The prevailing societal structures, where women, mothers, and men participate in work outside the home, are accompanied by corresponding psychological abilities that underpin these roles; and these capacities are transmitted at conscious and unconscious levels. Women, in their role as mothers, give rise to daughters who possess nurturing abilities and a predisposition towards mothering. Conversely, boys experience a systematic limitation on their nurturing capacities.
Social psychologists look at feminine role training and role identification and believe that women are trained for nurturance since childhood – they are made to play with dolls, their aggression is not tolerated, and they are restricted to the domestic sphere. They identify with their own mothers as they grow up and learn to cook, clean, maintain relationships, nurture, and sacrifice. Susie Orbach(1982) argues that femininity is not an inherent trait or quality of women but rather a set of expectations and behaviours that are culturally and socially constructed through a range of social institutions, including the family, media, education, and religion. Femininity is characterized by a number of features, including a preoccupation with appearance and body shape, an emphasis on emotional expressiveness and empathy, and a tendency towards subservience and passivity. Motherhood is then built on top of this foundation of femininity.
Why don't fathers ....'mother' ?
Margaret Polatnick (1973) disagrees with the socialization theories. Instead of questioning why women come to mother, she asks why men do not. Her explanation is in terms of power differences and social control. She suggests that men use their power to perpetuate the function of women’s mothering:
“Men don’t rear children because they don’t want to rear children.” (Ha! I knew it.)
Her account goes on to show why people in our society who have power over others would choose not to parent. “Parenting, as an unpaid occupation outside the world of public power, entails lower status, less power, and less control of resources than paid work.”
Traditionally, mothers are seen as supplying the basic conditions for survival and maintenance in the child’s life while fathers’ involvement has been perceived as beneficial, enhancing the intellectual and social development of children (Parke, 1981; McGuire, 1991, as cited in Nicolson, 1998). Sherry Ortner (1974) argues that women are often associated with nature because of their biological roles in reproduction and caregiving. On the contrary, men are associated with culture because of their historical roles as hunters, warriors, and rulers. This association between women and nature and men and culture has important implications for gender roles and inequalities. Women are often seen as inferior to men because they are associated with the chaotic and uncontrollable forces of nature, while men are associated with the rational and orderly forces of culture.mothers are seen as supplying the basic conditions for survival and maintenance in the child’s life while fathers’ involvement has been perceived as beneficial, enhancing the intellectual and social development of children (Parke, 1981; McGuire, 1991, as cited in Nicolson, 1998). Sherry Ortner (1974) argues that women are often associated with nature because of their biological roles in reproduction and caregiving. On the contrary, men are associated with culture because of their historical roles as hunters, warriors, and rulers. This association between women and nature and men and culture has important implications for gender roles and inequalities. Women are often seen as inferior to men because they are associated with the chaotic and uncontrollable forces of nature, while men are associated with the rational and orderly forces of culture.
Motherhood is frequently romanticized, with suggestions that men may experience "womb envy," harboring a desire for the unique ability of women to conceive and give birth (Erikson, 1975). The portrayal of the idealized mother stands in sharp contrast to men's perceived reluctance to engage in the aspects of infant care that are within their reach (Nicolson, 1990), as well as their limited involvement in the day-to-day realities faced by women in their maternal roles (Parker, 1995). Certain kinds of claims to knowledge are given priority over others, and the knowledge that comes to be known as such is that which serves the needs of those in power (Foucault, 1973; Philip, 1985). Eventually they get passed into popular discourse and we all take them as ‘truth’(Nicolson, 1993). Similar is the case with behavior that is ‘normal’ with respect to mothering (Foucault, 1973). These have formed the popular discourse in various cultures and even in science, and also form the understanding that women have of themselves. This means that the accompanying stresses of motherhood may be experienced by women as their own inadequacies (Boulton, 1983; Lewis, 1995b).
Landscape of Mothering in the Indian Terrain
The decision to embrace motherhood is intricately tied to women's overall lives. Women in contemporary society do not bear children throughout their fertile years, many only have one child and several choose not to give birth at all. More nursing support is also available, bottle-feeding and Formula milk is widespread. “Societies no longer need women's mothering for physical reproduction” (Chodorow, 1978). Why would it still be such an important milestone in a woman’s journey? (Chodorow, 1978). Why would it still be such an important milestone in a woman’s journey?
In general, it seems that women become mothers because it is the path most readily available to them, as other lifestyles for women are not as highly valued or rewarded. The prevailing societal narratives create a sense that women can only attain the ideal feminine status by becoming mothers. If women choose not to be mothers, they are often made to feel that there is something wrong with them. In contrast, men, while encouraged to conform to a distinct masculine role that excludes “mothering,” have more freedom to decide whether or to what extent they engage in child-rearing (Apter, 1993). In a patriarchal society, motherhood holds a mythical, mysterious, and powerful status that is exclusively granted to women. Narayanan (2023) believes that patriarchal can smoothly function if the belief in ‘natural’ motherhood is so pervasive that it becomes an unquestionable truth, deeply ingrained in people's psyches. All females would desire or already embody motherhood. There may be moral policing of women who do not follow this path or combine it with ambition. This notion then becomes the foundation upon which individuals organize their lives.
Kakar (2012) writes about a dramatic improvement in a woman’s social status in India, once she becomes pregnant. There is a cultural reverence for the pregnant woman and is solidified in her giving birth to a son. It is an event that confirms her status as a renewer of the race. “The unborn child is perceived as her saviour, instrumental in winning for its mother the love and acceptance of those around her.” The figure of the mother has an important place in Indian mythology and in the cultural unconscious. Sita is thought of as the ego ideal for a woman in the Hindu society. Despite all the wrongs Rama perceives her to be guilty of, he repents and takes Sita back from her exile, when he looks at his sons for the first time. The Goddess Parvati is claimed to remark, “Among all the pleasures of women, the greatest pleasure is to unite with a good man in private, and the misery that arises from its interruption is not equalled by any other. The second greatest misery is the falling of the seed in vain, and the third is my childlessness, the greatest sorrow of all.” within the realm of women's psychological experiences, pregnancy is viewed as a liberation from the feelings of insecurity, uncertainty, and shame that accompany infertility. The devotional song for Lord Ganesh (aarti), that supposedly marks auspicious new beginnnings and accompanies most religious ceremonies includes a sentence that the God “baanjhan ko putr deta, nirdhan ko maya..”. Narayanan (2018) discusses the idea of ‘maternal enthrallment’ given by Kakar, of a mother who cannot bear to be away from her child and gives up her own sexuality, imagination, personhood, and exists as omnipotent to her son, just as her son does for her (Ganesh circles Parvati as her ‘world’). The narcissistic supplies available to her are contingent on her ‘moral behaviour’ and meeting the aspirational idea of a mother. She can be trapped in this shared fantasy of becoming the ideal, perfect mother. So strong is the cultural association of womanhood with motherhood that it can have deep psychological implications for women’s sense of self and their identity as well as choices of career, life partner, lifestyle, etc.
The decision to embrace motherhood is intricately tied to women's overall lives. Women in contemporary society do not bear children throughout their fertile years, many only have one child and several choose not to give birth at all. More nursing support is also available, bottle-feeding and Formula milk is widespread. “Societies no longer need women's mothering for physical reproduction” (Chodorow, 1978). Why would it still be such an important milestone in a woman’s journey? (Chodorow, 1978). Why would it still be such an important milestone in a woman’s journey?
In general, it seems that women become mothers because it is the path most readily available to them, as other lifestyles for women are not as highly valued or rewarded. The prevailing societal narratives create a sense that women can only attain the ideal feminine status by becoming mothers. If women choose not to be mothers, they are often made to feel that there is something wrong with them. In contrast, men, while encouraged to conform to a distinct masculine role that excludes “mothering,” have more freedom to decide whether or to what extent they engage in child-rearing (Apter, 1993). In a patriarchal society, motherhood holds a mythical, mysterious, and powerful status that is exclusively granted to women. Narayanan (2023) believes that patriarchal can smoothly function if the belief in ‘natural’ motherhood is so pervasive that it becomes an unquestionable truth, deeply ingrained in people's psyches. All females would desire or already embody motherhood. There may be moral policing of women who do not follow this path or combine it with ambition. This notion then becomes the foundation upon which individuals organize their lives.
Kakar (2012) writes about a dramatic improvement in a woman’s social status in India, once she becomes pregnant. There is a cultural reverence for the pregnant woman and is solidified in her giving birth to a son. It is an event that confirms her status as a renewer of the race. “The unborn child is perceived as her saviour, instrumental in winning for its mother the love and acceptance of those around her.” The figure of the mother has an important place in Indian mythology and in the cultural unconscious. Sita is thought of as the ego ideal for a woman in the Hindu society. Despite all the wrongs Rama perceives her to be guilty of, he repents and takes Sita back from her exile, when he looks at his sons for the first time. The Goddess Parvati is claimed to remark, “Among all the pleasures of women, the greatest pleasure is to unite with a good man in private, and the misery that arises from its interruption is not equalled by any other. The second greatest misery is the falling of the seed in vain, and the third is my childlessness, the greatest sorrow of all.” within the realm of women's psychological experiences, pregnancy is viewed as a liberation from the feelings of insecurity, uncertainty, and shame that accompany infertility. The devotional song for Lord Ganesh (aarti), that supposedly marks auspicious new beginnnings and accompanies most religious ceremonies includes a sentence that the God “baanjhan ko putr deta, nirdhan ko maya..”. Narayanan (2018) discusses the idea of ‘maternal enthrallment’ given by Kakar, of a mother who cannot bear to be away from her child and gives up her own sexuality, imagination, personhood, and exists as omnipotent to her son, just as her son does for her (Ganesh circles Parvati as her ‘world’). The narcissistic supplies available to her are contingent on her ‘moral behaviour’ and meeting the aspirational idea of a mother. She can be trapped in this shared fantasy of becoming the ideal, perfect mother. So strong is the cultural association of womanhood with motherhood that it can have deep psychological implications for women’s sense of self and their identity as well as choices of career, life partner, lifestyle, etc.
Mother as the Creator
Motherhood is widely recognized as a significant social institution. There is a near-universal assumption that women will become mothers. Despite this, the everyday challenges and realities of being a mother often go unnoticed or unrecognized. For women who find themselves entangled in the societal myths surrounding motherhood, the inability to attain this idealized status can be a profound shock (Parker, 1995). The act of becoming a mother has significant repercussions on various aspects of life, including relationships with family, friends, and work. Additionally, it often leads to temporary economic dependence on another person. Motherhood affects a woman's social and personal identity and has implications for her health due to physical changes, exhaustion, and stress (Doyal, 1995). In patriarchal systems, there is a tendency to perceive women who do not have children as unsuccessful and deficient in femininity. Additionally, any accomplishments and joys that arise from endeavours unrelated to motherhood are often disregarded as mere substitutes for what is considered ‘normal’ femininity (Woollett, 1991).
Rich (1977) saw a separation between the experience of Motherhood, that is, “the potential relationship of any women to her powers of reproduction and to children,” and the institution of Motherhood, described as “ensuring that that potential–and all women–shall remain under male control.” Motherhood frequently demands women to sacrifice their own aspirations, dreams, and personal identities for the sake of their children and families. The idealised image of motherhood could be thought of as oppressive and denying women the opportunity for self-expression and personal fulfilment. Motherhood, as a social construct, entails specific obligations and tasks; however, women's authority is constrained due to patriarchal oppression. Men hold legal and traditional authority over women and children (Segal, 1990), thereby limiting women's power in this institutional framework.
Motherhood is widely recognized as a significant social institution. There is a near-universal assumption that women will become mothers. Despite this, the everyday challenges and realities of being a mother often go unnoticed or unrecognized. For women who find themselves entangled in the societal myths surrounding motherhood, the inability to attain this idealized status can be a profound shock (Parker, 1995). The act of becoming a mother has significant repercussions on various aspects of life, including relationships with family, friends, and work. Additionally, it often leads to temporary economic dependence on another person. Motherhood affects a woman's social and personal identity and has implications for her health due to physical changes, exhaustion, and stress (Doyal, 1995). In patriarchal systems, there is a tendency to perceive women who do not have children as unsuccessful and deficient in femininity. Additionally, any accomplishments and joys that arise from endeavours unrelated to motherhood are often disregarded as mere substitutes for what is considered ‘normal’ femininity (Woollett, 1991).
Rich (1977) saw a separation between the experience of Motherhood, that is, “the potential relationship of any women to her powers of reproduction and to children,” and the institution of Motherhood, described as “ensuring that that potential–and all women–shall remain under male control.” Motherhood frequently demands women to sacrifice their own aspirations, dreams, and personal identities for the sake of their children and families. The idealised image of motherhood could be thought of as oppressive and denying women the opportunity for self-expression and personal fulfilment. Motherhood, as a social construct, entails specific obligations and tasks; however, women's authority is constrained due to patriarchal oppression. Men hold legal and traditional authority over women and children (Segal, 1990), thereby limiting women's power in this institutional framework.
“It is through the everyday experience of the mother-daughter relationship that the contradictions in the myth become clear: ‘Belief in the all-powerful mother spawns a recurrent tendency to blame the mother on the one hand, and a fantasy of maternal perfectibility on the other.’”
- Chodorow and Contratto (1982), Chodorow and Contratto (1982)
The romanticized and idealized image of a woman, characterized by boundless love, forgiveness, and selflessness, is unrealistic and unattainable. As a result, all mothers are bound to disappoint both their children and themselves. While it can be argued that a woman's identity as a mother begins in childhood, the actual experience of giving birth to and caring for a baby profoundly alters most women's self-perception, values, and beliefs. The initial transition into motherhood is often a jolting experience on both physical and emotional levels (Oakley, 1980), and this doesn't seem to diminish with subsequent births. With each child, women face renewed pressures, hard work, and the need to relearn childcare skills. Irrespective of their other responsibilities or unique abilities, women are expected, and they themselves expect, to assume primary responsibility for childcare (Apter, 1993).
In her book “Mad Mothers, Bad Mothers, and What a ‘Good’ Mother Would Do,” Sarah LaChance Adams (2014) explores the complex ways in which motherhood is understood and represented in contemporary culture. Mothers who experience mental illness or disability are often stigmatized and marginalized, and how this stigmatization is reinforced by cultural expectations of what a “good” mother should be. The idea of the “good” mother is rooted in patriarchal assumptions about women’s role as caregivers and their supposed natural ability to nurture and care for children. The stigmatization of “mad” or “bad” mothers can have real-world consequences, including the loss of custody of their children, institutionalization, and more commonly, social isolation. Motherhood can be exhausting and challenging. But it can also be an exhilarating, fulfilling, and an emotionally enriching journey. It is the presence of inherent contradictions like these that give rise to what Rich (1984) has described as:
“the suffering of ambivalence: the murderous alternation between bitter resentment and raw-edged nerves and blissful gratification and tenderness.
Sometimes I seem to myself, in my feelings towards these tiny guiltless beings, a monster of selfishness and intolerance.”
In a more recent publication, Parker (1995) restated the idea that mothers often feel guilty due to the challenging and conflicting emotions associated with maternal ambivalence. The act of being a mother involves various aspects, including the authority, obligation, fulfilment, and self-reliance that come with raising children, as well as feelings of monotony, hard work, and distress. Motherhood can bring purpose and significance to one's life, while also presenting opportunities for self-discovery and building connections. According to Richardson (1993), having children can infuse our lives with liveliness, enjoyment, and humour, while offering a fresh perspective on the world. Sian Lewis (1995) supported this perspective by noting that several mothers described their children as rewarding companions. This positive experience was more pronounced when they had financial security and emotional support from a partner or friends, helping them overcome the negative aspects of daily child care.
Postnatal Depression
Being a mother requires a woman to embrace a multifaceted identity (Richardson, 1993). She tries to remain true to herself while also assuming the roles, responsibilities, and relationships that come with motherhood. This is by no means an easy task. Engaging in the act of mothering, which involves the care and responsibilities associated with raising children, can be challenging and potentially result in feelings of depression and dissatisfaction (Parker, 1995).
Various studies on postnatal depression in different parts of the world suggest that its prevalence ranges from 10-20% among new mothers[1]. Keeping in mind the limits of very specific diagnostic criteria, cultural differences, low awareness and stigma about mental health disorders, taboo on even visiting a psychiatrist and getting evaluated, we can probably assume more people experience difficult feelings after giving birth. But what does a diagnosis entail? What does it mean to have a diagnosis of postnatal depression and how does it affect those who have one?
Essence of Diagnosis
The medical viewpoint places emphasis on individual traits that make women more susceptible to experiencing depression following childbirth. According to this perspective, women are viewed as being governed by their physical bodies and hormones, leading to a belief that their mental state is beyond their personal control (Ussher, 1989; Moscucci, 1993). Some studies argue that depression at any stage of life, to individuals of any gender, is due to genital vulnerabilities or imbalances in the hormones. Postnatal depression can then be thought of as an extension of the same viewpoint – the biological being that just gave birth may have hormonal imbalances, and because of some predispositions of their individual body or life, they may experience more psychological distress than other mothers. Treatment is designed to cure them and integrate them back into the society of normality. Nicolson (1998) adds that many experts see postnatal depression as distinct from other kinds of depression in that it is often described as an irrational and inevitable response to the hormone fluctuations resulting from childbirth. Implicit in the literature taking the 'medical' position is that a woman who has a baby does not 'normally' experience negative emotions. If she cannot cope or feels depressed, it is her fault. She is perceived as being pathological, and her reaction is seen as one which may require treatment.
According to Ann Oakley (1979), the term "Postnatal depression" is not a scientifically defined concept but rather an ideological construct. She argues that using this term obscures the true social and medical factors that contribute to mothers' feelings of unhappiness. She suggests that instead of pathologizing women's reactions after childbirth, it is important to examine their experiences and emotions on their own terms and within the specific context of their lives. There are valid reasons for women to experience distress following childbirth, and labelling it as an "illness" does not provide meaningful assistance.
When women actually experience motherhood, they may find that reality is quite different from their imagination, and they may buy into the idea that they are somehow 'wrong' in feeling distressed and must be 'ill'. Conversely, women are often denied the right to acknowledge feelings of sadness or depression resulting from exhaustion and disillusionment with the challenges of motherhood. They are compelled to endure these circumstances unless they meet the criteria of a recognized "illness" that justifies their behaviour (Nicolson, 1998).
[1] Source: NCBI, CDC, see Bauman (2018) and Upadhyay et al (2017) in ‘works cited’ section for detailsSource: NCBI, CDC, see Bauman (2018) and Upadhyay et al (2017) in ‘works cited’ section for details
The Societal Seeds of Postnatal Depression
“Although recent research suggests that the symptoms and duration of postnatal depression are not noticeably different from that occurring at other times, depression after having a baby is unarguably unusual in that its effects are experienced at a time when exceptional physical and emotional demands are being made on the mother in caring for her infant and family.”
-Holden, (1994)
This extract reaffirms the idea that physical and emotional demands made on the new mother in the postnatal period are likely to increase feelings of overwhelm and confusion. Social science looks at the individual as a potential victim of external psychosocial factors and postnatal depression is seen as an understandable reaction to this stress. It is important to recognize that motherhood is a stressful, exhausting, and emotionally draining experience that stems from oppressive societal structures. Brown and Harris (1978) are persuaded by evidence suggesting that stressful life events are a significant influence in the development of depression and that because childbirth is a significant stressor in its own right additional stresses in this period contribute to depression. Sandra Elliot (1985) further proposed that:
“Postnatal depression is...a realistic response to the life event of birth and to the stress of the maternal role,
in combination with other life stresses;”
The other sources of stress could include dissatisfaction in marriages, feelings of isolation, a lack of companionship, inadequate social support, changes in roles such as leaving paid employment to care for an infant and manage a household, as well as negative experiences during childbirth.
The term "Postnatal Depression" is often employed in a broad and inclusive manner, serving as a general diagnosis encompassing various emotional and psychiatric difficulties that arise following childbirth (Nicolson, 1998). The overall impact on the mythology, science, and experience of postnatal depression is such that it leads to marginalization and exclusion of women – their experiences are not taken seriously and are not believed to be mature reactions to stressful circumstances.
Postnatal Depression as an Existential Crisis
An existential crisis have emotions in the postnatal period have a lot in common - deep sense of confusion, uncertainty, and even distress, as those in the middle of it grapple with concerns like responsibility, freedom, significance of their actions, one’s identity, mortality, etc. Becoming a mother is a significant life transition riddled with personal challenges and can make a mother feel lost and question the fundamental aspects of her existence, purpose and meaning in life. It is like a ship in the sea that is in the middle of a terrible storm. Would you blame the captain for feeling anxious, screaming and panicking?
After the birth of a baby, the comforting illusion of control becomes difficult to regain. The significant changes in lifestyle and the realization that nothing will ever be the same can lead to a sense of chaos, especially for those who value structure and routine. The process of reorganizing and adjusting to this unfamiliar territory can be overwhelming and even traumatic, even for mothers who have a strong support system. When unexpected events occur or the mother's expectations are not met, such as a traumatic birth, an unwell baby, or breastfeeding difficulties, the loss of control experienced can be profoundly distressing. With a new awareness in a postpartum mother about her facticity- the aspects of her existence that are beyond her control- can be described as postnatal depression, but can also be viewed as an existential crisis (Donaghy, 2001).
“That we are born and inevitably will die and that we have limited control over our existence have long been considered by existential philosophers as inescapable realities of life and crucial to an understanding of what it means to be human. For many women, becoming a mother brings with it an unveiling of these realities, not least because along with birth may also come a greater awareness of death.”
-Claire Arnold-Baker, The Existential Crisis of Motherhood (2020)
For some, the act of giving birth can evoke thoughts of mortality, presenting mothers with the realization that there exists a slight possibility, however remote, of both themselves and their child not making it out of this alive. This heightened awareness of their own vulnerability is accompanied by a deepened sense of purpose, as the arrival of their baby magnifies the significance of their own existence. The responsibility of nurturing an entirely dependent infant becomes a compelling reason to persist and safeguard their own lives. Women who may have never contemplated their mortality before now find themselves increasingly preoccupied with the prospect of death and the apprehension of who will assume the caregiving role for their baby in the event of their demise. Seen in another way,
“…the birth of children is the death of parents. This projection of herself is also for the woman the foreshadowing of her death.”
-de Beauvoir (1953)
It is the death of the erstwhile person that the woman was, something she will never be again. While there is love and celebration of a new child, the new mother may also privately grieve this loss of the former self – one that was free.
