Frequently Asked Questions
Some signs you might benefit from therapy can be persistent emotional struggles - feeling worried or overwhelmed most of the time, even though situations change or feelings that seem too big to handle or come out of nowhere. You may notice recurring patterns of thoughts and feelings about situations or people across various aspects of your life, e.g. work, relationships, etc. Struggling to keep up with daily tasks, any unexplained physical ailments, heart palpitations, headaches, overworking, socially withdrawing, significant sleep or appetite issues, substance use, intrusive thoughts may also be signs you could consider therapy.
Basically, if the ebbs and flows of life are not seeming temporary or situational anymore or things are going beyond what you feel is okay, you should consider speaking to a professional.
Therapy is about more than just "thinking positive”; it's about:
Building Insight: Understanding why you feel or act a certain way.
Learning Skills: developing tools to manage emotions, navigate relationships, and improve the quality of your life.
Healing the past: addressing unresolved experiences that might still affect you.
Safe Exploration: having a neutral, supportive space to discuss your thoughts without judgment.
People who have experienced therapy share that beyond solving immediate concerns, therapy has helped them have deeper self-understanding and helped uncover the 'why' behind certain emotions or behaviours, making functioning in life a lot easier and pleasurable.
Psychologists are trained to understand human behaviour, emotions and mental health. They use research-backed techniques to understand and address your concerns effectively, whereas family and friends may offer well-meaning advice based on personal experience or opinion.
A professional is more likely to be unbiased, free from involvement in your life or those around you. This helps them be neutral without influence from a shared history. So, you can open up without worrying about hurting feelings, burdening someone or damaging relationships. Everything you share is confidential, creating a safe space to dig deeper into your challenges, patterns, or past experiences. Moreover, therapy time is entirely devoted to you and there is no expectation of reciprocity. They also meet so many other people, so their insights might be helpful in a more contemporary context.
While it may seem that sharing your innermost feelings with a stranger is odd, many people actually find it liberating to talk to someone whose only priority is your wellbeing and explorations of your concerns in depth and whose opinions can have no implication on your life, unless you choose it.
A counselling psychologist is a professional who has completed a Master's degree in psychology. Traditionally, psychology programs offered specialised tracks during the second year, such as applied psychology, clinical psychology, or counselling psychology. Regardless of the specialisation, individuals from these tracks are often collectively referred to as counselling psychologists.
Clinical psychologist is one who has a master’s degree in psychology, followed by a M.Phil in psychology. They are eligible to conduct assessments and typically work in a more clinical setting.
(These terms can become confusing due to recent regulatory changes regarding the education of psychologists and the qualifications needed for these titles.)
Psychoanalyst is someone trained in psychoanalysis, the specific school of thought in psychology brought on by Freud, exploring unconscious processes and deep-rooted conflicts.
Therapist, psychotherapist are used in a more generic sense for someone who provides mental health care.
Psychiatrists are medical professionals who hold MBBS and MD degrees. Their training involves attending medical college after completing school. Only psychiatrists can prescribe medications and provide a formal diagnosis for mental health conditions. They often work in collaboration with clinical psychologists or other mental health practitioners to offer comprehensive care to clients.
Trauma-informed therapist is someone who can understand and address the impact of trauma on mental health. The qualification is often an additional certification in trauma informed care in addition to one’s master’s or other relevant degrees. They typically offer sensitive, tailored support for trauma survivors, emphasising safety, trust, and healing. This is different from trauma-focussed therapy, where the work is on resolving the trauma as opposed to being aware about how trauma affects someone.
A queer-affirmative therapist is a mental health professional who actively validates, affirms, and centers the experiences of LGBTQIA+ individuals in therapy. Their approach aims to empower clients by addressing the unique challenges they face, such as societal stigma, internalized discrimination, or struggles with identity. They often have specific training or lived experience that helps them understand and navigate the nuances of queer identities, relationships, and intersectionality. In contrast, a queer-friendly therapist is someone who is open, non-judgmental, and accepting of LGBTQIA+ clients but may not have specialized training or a deep understanding of the specific challenges faced by the queer community.
Other such titles can co-exist caste-aware lens, feminist lens, social justice lens, etc. These titles reflect a therapist’s commitment to addressing specific aspects of identity, systemic issues, or lived experiences, ensuring that their practice is inclusive, empathetic, and responsive to the unique needs of their clients.
Since there isn’t a very clear structure to use of these titles, people may opt for a title of their choice. For example, I can call myself a counselling psychologist, a psychotherapist and a trauma informed therapist too. Perhaps I will say Counselling Psychologist and Psychotherapist (Trauma-informed)!
It is probably a good idea to ask your (potential) therapist what their titles mean if you are unsure.
What we do in therapy depends on the goals - whether you’re looking for ways to manage immediate challenges, heal from past experiences, or gain deeper self-awareness. There are many therapeutic approaches available, each with its own strengths.
Here are a few commonly used ones:
1. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): Focuses on identifying and changing unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors. The primary goal here is awareness-building. It is highly structured and is usually short-term.
2. Psychodynamic Therapy: Explores how past experiences and unconscious patterns influence your current feelings and behaviors, helping you gain deeper insight. The therapist encourages open-ended dialogue, helping clients explore their thoughts and feelings without judgment. The process involves connecting the dots between past experiences and current struggles, identifying unconscious defences, attachment patterns and gradually working through unresolved emotions. The goal is not just symptom relief but a deeper understanding of the self, which can lead to improved relationships, emotional freedom, and lasting personal growth. Psychodynamic therapy is especially beneficial for individuals dealing with complex emotions, relationship difficulties, or long-standing patterns of distress, as it provides a space for profound self-reflection and healing.
3. Humanistic/Person-Centered Therapy: Emphasises self-discovery, personal growth, strength and potential, in a supportive and affirming environment.
4. Internal Family Systems (IFS): Focuses on understanding and harmonising the different “parts” of yourself (e.g., inner critics or wounded parts) to achieve a sense of balance and self-compassion.
5. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): Uses bilateral stimulation, such as guided eye movements, to help the brain reprocess traumatic memories. EMDR does not require detailed discussions about the trauma. Instead, it helps the brain integrate distressing memories so they no longer feel overwhelming. This approach is helpful for individuals with PTSD, single-incident trauma, or complex trauma, as it enables them to resolve trauma at a neurological level without prolonged emotional distress.
6. Narrative Therapy: It helps individuals understand and reshape the stories they tell about their lives. The therapist and client work together to identify dominant narratives that may be limiting, externalise problems (e.g., "anxiety impacts my life" instead of "I am anxious"), and uncover overlooked strengths or "subplots" of resilience and success. By re-authoring these stories, clients can create narratives that better align with their values and aspirations, fostering self-compassion and a sense of agency. Narrative therapy also considers the impact of societal and cultural contexts, encouraging clients to critically examine and challenge oppressive or limiting beliefs.
All of them can feel frustrating, liberating, non-judgemental, threatening, etc. depending on a person's suitability for that approach, a practitioner's style and most of all, the fit between the people working together.
Many many more forms and approaches of therapy exist. It can feel confusing and overwhelming to figure out which approach might be suitable for you. Most professionals would adopt an eclectic approach - meaning a mix of approaches - depending on their training and suitability for the client.
Finding the right therapist for yourself is hard work! I am sorry that the previous experience was not great.
Sadly, there is really no formula to figure out if someone is going to be a good fit. You can try to find someone who meets your preferences for age, gender, location/online, any preferred approach, etc. You can ask your trusted family/friends/colleagues for referrals. After that, you can try to see their websites, social profiles, professional experience and notice how you feel after reading about them. If it seems like it might be a good fit, it would be worth a try. During your conversations, try to be as honest and clear as you can about yourself and your reservations. In sessions, if you like something and don't like something else, you can really tell your therapist! A good practitioner would not be offended and would probably be glad you can freely share what is on your mind. And they will use it to better cater to your requirements. And if they cannot, they will kindly tell you that too :)
(Note on referrals: there is an ethical requirement for no dual relationships and no conflicts among clients of a therapist. That means that your mother's therapist cannot be yours, because you are probably a character in her story and she in yours. A distant cousin's uncle may not be a conflict. It also means that your friend or aunt cannot be your therapist because they already have an existing relationship with you and that of an independent, objective therapist-client cannot be formed.)
If you want to work with me, please write me an email. It would be helpful if you could share your demographics, key concerns and any other important considerations for our work. We can have a brief call to discuss more and understand each other better. Afterwards, I will share an intake form and an informed consent form to outline the guiding details of our work. Once that part is done, you can book an appointment with me via my topmate page.
My training has primarily been in psychodynamic modality, and I find its slow pace, potential for deep work and respect for the unstructured psyche quite powerful. However, I also understand how it can feel too vague and alienating sometimes.
I find the belief in self and potential for improvement of the humanistic tradition very empowering and the acute awareness of life's fundamental truths of the existential tradition rather enlightening.
I see CBT as an interesting tool to enhance self-awareness and the simple yet profound frameworks of Transactional Analysis, Window of Tolerance, etc. to be exceedingly useful.
A relational and attachment lens adds a rich complexity that has the potential to discover oneself in relationships like nothing else can.
Adding to that, my own experience with grief, pain and life's transitions have taught me that there is no formula to healing, nor is there one school of thought that can work for one person for all of their difficulties, let alone for many people across life stages. More than everything else, I think it is the relationship of the client and practitioner that heals. And that is my primary focus.
My blog post titled 'we are all a little crazy' elaborates my approach further.
TL;DR: I adopt an eclectic approach, keeping the client's requirements and presenting emotional state in mind.
Meeting once a week is the usual form in therapy. We can meet twice a week if you are experiencing high distress right now. Once in 10 days or once in 2 weeks is the usual maintenance frequency. I recommend we start with meeting once a week and decide further based on how we feel about it.
There is a reason behind this. Therapy sessions are typically scheduled once a week to strike a balance between consistency and practicality. This regular rhythm helps maintain continuity in the therapeutic process while allowing people time to reflect on discussions, insights, make observations and possibly implement a small change in their daily lives. Weekly sessions provide consistent support without fostering dependence, encouraging one to build autonomy in their personal growth. This frequency also prevents emotional overwhelm by pacing the exploration of challenging topics and fits well with most people’s schedules and financial capacities, making therapy both effective and sustainable.
Meeting at a fixed time every week adds to this sense of continuity and consistency. Additionally, with many other competing priorities, it can feel like a task to carve out time for this and so a fixed slot helps to reduce the pain of decisions. Having said that, it is also true that life can be unpredictable, and while a fixed slot also provides for contingencies of health and other emergencies; some people find more comfort in booking a slot in the week as per their variable schedule. In no way do I mean to add anxiety of reschedule/cancellation in an already overwhelming life. So, I am okay with clients freely booking a slot from the list of available slots and we do not need to discuss it every time.
Please write to me at abhilashagupta.therapy@gmail.com for any other questions or concerns.
